Gin Lane

GHD

2008-11-07T08:59:00.003Z

Finally found a hairdresser that I like. £44 for a wash, cut, blow dry and colour.

Am really enjoying the new Little Dorrit adaptation, am watching it on BBC HD. When are we getting the next series of Ashes to Ashes???

Jump Around

2008-11-02T18:25:00.003Z

Half Term. My daughter...

Went to Longleat (twice)
Went to two different friends houses
Had two different friends round to play
Decorated gingerbread men
Made cakes
Had lunch at Pizza Hut
Went swimming
Had fish and chips one night for tea
Went to see High School Musical 3 (if you get the chance to see it....don't)
Went to a non Halloween Party
Atteneded TWO birthday parties

I did laundry, worked, cleaned and got hooked on Vallium.

Wossy

2008-11-01T19:42:00.003Z

I didn't hear the phone calls made by Ross and Brand. I am not really interested. However, I am quite shocked how the public have turned against him! I always thought he was one of the untouchables. Like Sir Bob and the Queen Mother. Sir Paul (shut it Mrs Weasley) Dawn French and Stephen Fry. How wrong could I be!

Something really bizarre happened last night. We were having a night in with some friends when my best friend phoned and said "turn on Channel 4, quick!" So we did and it was a programme called "Place in the Sun - Home or Away?" People who are buying new homes get to decide whether to buy a house in the UK or abroad. And they show them a few houses. Would you believe...my old house was on there?!?!?! I bloody loved that house. I cant even walk past it for getting upset. I never wanted to leave it and wish I had held on to it. But I couldn't afford it on my own. Anyway, the woman in the programme bought my house and the one in Italy.

Lucky Bitch.

Soccer

2008-10-23T05:43:00.002Z

Bryant Stunner Earns Robins Premier Cup Win
A stunning strike from centre back Stewart Bryant with 5 minutes left gave a depleted Robins side, missing six regulars, a 2-1 win over a battling Odd Down side in the first round of the Somerset Premier Cup. Toby Colbourne had scored an earlier equaliser for Frome and the win sets up a home tie against Bath City in the next round.

Can you imagine how hard this is to live with right now?

To smack or not to smack...that is the question...

2008-10-19T16:37:00.002Z

In my absence from internet life, Stew hit my car. He backed into it with his. There is only a tiny mark on the number plate, but I was right angry because anyone who knows me and my car will automatically think it is me who has hit it!

My daughter is cheeky and chopsy. We used to give her small smacks when she was really naughty then stopped. Should we start smacking again? Do you/did you smack your children?

So sorry....

2008-10-16T13:29:00.002Z

I am alive.

Stew is on a four day week, so I am picking up all the overtime I can squeeze in. I hope everyone got the link I sent with the newspaper article that Stew and Lizzy were in, but here is the photo for anyone who isn't already bored with it!

A couple of things I would like to mention are that, I am not really bothered that Madonna and Guy have split, and I REALLY don't care if Peter Andre and Jordan split. So please, media people, don't boringly bombard us with celebrity marriage stuff. It is tediously dull.

Whilst in Canada, my mum let Lizzy borrow her Sims game for the DS. She brought it home and has suddenly realised that the Sim Girl goes to the toilet. So my daughter spends at least half an hour a day making this poor electronic girl do constant poos.

I seem to be developing an addiction to the Crime and Investigation channel....and alongside that comes a fear that I shall end up in a trailer in the US, getting murdered for my handbag.

Alive and Kicking

2008-08-24T15:45:00.002Z

Picked up the Best of Simple Minds at the bootie this morning for 50p!
Sold £94 worth of stuff at the bootie
Had dinner over at the monster in laws
Had an Indian takeaway last night and was really pleased that my best friend who came back from Florida yesterday came round
Wondering why all the best old films have names as the titles. Have recently watched Mildred Pierce, Mr Skeffington, Cass Timberlane, Mrs Miniver (again) and Nora Prentis. I think I should have been born in black and white.
Wondering what I am going to watch now that Bonekickers (Absolutely impossible, but entertaining) has finished.
Not looking forward to working Bank Holiday Monday

Inukshuk

2008-08-22T07:26:00.004Z

Inukshuk (in'-ook-shook) or inuksuk, is an Inuktitut¹ word.

A type of archaeological feature consisting of rocks piled in the shape of, or to indicate, a human form. Inuksuit are a common feature on the land, assume many forms and sizes, and serve a variety of different purposes.

The government of the new Canadian Territory of Nunavut uses the inukshuk as the central symbol of the territorial flag and as a prominent part of the territorial coat of arms. The government describes inuksuit as:

... stone monuments which guide people on the land and mark sacred and other special places.

The inukshuk has become a familiar symbol of the north throughout Canada and modern examples are now found scattered across the country.'Sacred and Other Special Places'

In June 2002, Canadian soldiers in Kandahar, Afghanistan (far from the north) constructed an Inukshuk from local stone as a memorial to their four comrades who had been killed the previous April.

Corporal Ainsworth Dyer, Sergeant Marc Leger, Private Richard Green and Private Nathan Smith, died that night. Eight other Canadian soldiers were wounded. Their Inukshuk points home.

Parry Sound, Georgian Bay

2008-08-19T06:55:00.004Z

We have been home for over one week and the sun has not shined once. Rain, clouds, and just generally dull.

We had a fabulous time in Canada. Met the nicest, kindest people, had lovely weather, ate far too much and slept a lot!

I got hooked on Dollarama, Tim Hortons Hot Chocolate, Butterfingers, Iced Tea and Dentyne Cinnamon Fire. Went to Walmart (and think Asda is probably nicer, but at least they don't have to wear our gopping green uniforms). Loved going out on the boats, and thought sitting on a front porch was great!

I was fascinated with the Inuckshucks (Excuse spelling) and brought one home with me. Spent far too much in Whiskey Jacks and did not want to come home.

To the girl with the mousey hair...

2008-08-15T22:31:00.004Z

For some reason today I feel very nostalgic. I have watched Adam & the Ants, Paul Young, David Bowie, Sweet, The Selector, Madness, Hazel O'Connor, Blondie and The Undertones on YouTube. I am rewatching probably the best series made in the last 10 years, Life on Mars. I also bought my daughter some Space Dust. And made her eat it.

"Gene Hunt. Your DCI. And it’s 1973...almost dinner time. I’m havin' hoops."

Will tell all about the fabulous Ontario in the next post.

Loonie Land

2008-08-12T06:43:00.006Z

I DID NOT want to come home.

She looks like a sugar in a plum

2008-07-27T19:20:00.003Z

Lizzy had a group visit her school for the last dayof term. I would imagine they were a Steel Band. They played Brown Girl in the Ring, Rivers of Babylon and must have done a couple of numbers by UB40. My daughter came home incredibly excited. She said "Oh mummy, they were brilliant! They did some songs you have on your cd in the car! And they came from a really long long way away!"

I asked her "Where were they from? Jamaica? Nigeria? Africa?"

she replied.....

"Erm no...I think they were from Ikea"

Off to Canada tomorrow. I can't believe the holiday is here already!

What.....?

2008-07-16T08:15:00.002Z

What is going to happen to Dr Who? I liked Catherine Tate in it.

What the hell has happened to Billie Pipers mouth? Why has she developed a lisp?

Why have I never seen Casablanca before?

Whatever happend to KLF? They rocked.

Why do I bother dieting? I have spent 4 weeks fasting and still weigh the same.

What the hell will I do with my child for the other 4 weeks of the summer holidays?

Lazing on a...

2008-07-13T13:28:00.003Z

This week I have not found a job. I have tried new cooking recipes due to boredom. I have been to bingo. I have worked in my dead end job. I have not saved any spending money for my holiday and I haven't been out.

I have, however, watched two great Bette Davis films on TCM...Now, Voyager and Mr Skeffington. Both made me cry.

And a band of angels wrapped up in my heart

2008-07-04T05:17:00.003Z

My mobile phone has been on a washing machine adven ture this week. I finally got it dried out, and then left in on the windowsill. When my friend phoned and phoned, it vibrated so much, it fell into the washing up water. Was it Schell who dropped hers down the toilet? Did hers ever recover?

Lizzy went to bed one night this week, and sneaked her Silly Putty up there with her. She fell asleep with it and in the morning it was everywhere. I hd to cut it out of her hair, and although I tried the Marge Simpson trick with the ice on gum, I had to throw the nightdress out.

Stew is doing the London Run this weekend. If he does complete it and all his sponsors pay up, he should raise £700 for a local cancer charity.

I have finally finished college this week. So now I REALLY have to find a job.

Only 24 days till our holiday! I really must get some holiday insurance.

Reasons to be cheerful...Part 4

2008-06-30T20:37:00.002Z

Stephen Fry
Scrabble
Stilton
The Barbecue Season
Kathy Burke and Gimme Gimme Gimme
The Beatles
The Office - An American Workplace
Gnocci
Houmous
The invention of reading specs
Dickens
Bargains at a boot sale
My daughters school report
Red Wine
Corn on the Cob
Squeeze on my car cd player
Not being dead

And marmalade skies...

2008-06-27T06:15:00.003Z

Dizzy has been off with a tummy bug, but she is back to school today. Good job, I have a girlie lunch out today.

I have applied for four jobs this week. Surely one of them will give me an interview!

Miss Elizabeth had a birthday on Tuesday. We got her a trampoline. I think she is stuck to it. My mum got her a second hand karaoke machine. I think I'm Cher when she's at school.

Without wanting to bore everyone with weather stories...are we actually going to get a summer this year?

Hysterical

2008-06-20T09:31:00.005Z

Funniest thing I can remember seeing on TV ever was The Office, last night. Jim pretending to be Dwight for $11. Even had his own bobblehead. Question...What kind of bear is best?!

Lizzys birthday party today. I may need valium.

Still haven't found a new job. I may well be unemployable.

Half hour later.

I have a post script to this blog. This morning, I have recieved an email. Here it is, copied and pasted.

Hi Jackie

Thank you for your e-mail. If you are interested in delivering the Frome Times please call me on 01225 704761 so that I can take your address and telephone number and your date of birth if you are under 16. Then I will get back to you again when I have a round in the area of Frome which you live.

Thank you

Linda Maslen

Distributions Manager

Wiltshire Publications, publishers of;

Melksham Independent News

White Horse News

Frome Times

Now, I certainly haven't applied for a paper round. And my four year old is unable to write emails as yet. Which leaves one person in this house who has applied for a paper round in my name....

All the teachers down the pub, passing round the ready rub...

2008-06-16T06:38:00.002Z

My daughter took her first trip to her headmistress this week. Her crime, along with two partners in, was "To see if we could create a flood by blocking up the water fountain with tissues" They did accomplish this most hideous of offences and were duly sentenced to a trip to Mrs Stokes. Who, in her infinite wisdom took 10 minutes off the offenders playtimes for the following day.

On the way home, Lizzy said....

"I hate Mrs Stokes. She ain't coming to MY birthday party."

Holiday, celebrate, it would be so nice....

2008-06-04T12:09:00.006Z

We had a lovely week away. It rained, but it was lovely to see my aunt and uncle. Sadly, the car broke down the day before we went, so we had to borrow Stews mums car and worse, it cost £450 to repair! That is all the holiday money I have saved for Canada gone.

I am still watching all the classic films I can. Have watched Three Coins in a Fountain, Jezebel and Pat and Mike.

Went to see the new Indiana Jones film at the weekend, with some lovely friends of ours. It was what you would expect from an Indiana Jones film.

I know I say this every year....but...

2008-05-24T21:25:00.006Z

When the hell are we going to boycott the Eurovision Song Contest?

I am away this week. We are staying in a Haven Holiday Camp in a caravan near Hastings for a few days. In the rain. Wish me luck.

A few photos.

In my local news today...

2008-05-13T07:58:00.001Z

Bath University is the first university to now offer a degree course in funerals.

I don't think there can be a worse degree.

....there is a fireman with an hourglass

2008-05-11T10:08:00.002Z

Last night we went out with friends drinking. I am slighty suffering today, but not too bad. Anyway, we were all discussing the first singles we ever bought. Mine was Boomtown Rats, Rat Trap. And I still love it now. I was horrified to discover, that Stews was Mistletoe and Wine by the vile Cliff Richard. I may have to rethink our long term commitment.

My head is spinning

2008-05-07T09:32:00.003Z

I am spending the whole day with a cleaning item in each hand. Laundry, cleaning and general slavery.

However, Discovery Channel is running the complete Vic Reeves Rogues Gallery, so it's not all bad.

Good Luck Hillary. Quite frankly, I don't give a flying f*** who wins. But Emma and Dana are rooting for you, which is good enough for me.

How Bizarrrrrrrrre!

2008-04-30T22:27:00.002Z

Just got back from French and Saunders (which was, excuse the pun, Absolutely Fabulous) and I had to come and blog straight away as I decided that Alex must be dead and sending me psychic messages. This is because, before the performance, during the interval and after the performance they played two songs. These were...

Gracie Fields, Sing as we go and Kinky Boots

Anyway, Mrs Weasley, hope you aren't dead. And I think you would have liked the show tonight.

You got more rabbit than Sainsburys

2008-04-29T08:16:00.001Z

Tomorrow night I am off to see French and Saunders! Can't wait :oD

Tenessee Williams

2008-04-25T14:12:00.002Z

...just watched Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. I have never read the book....is Maggie actually pregnant? I never realised how beautiful Liz Taylor was. Is Brick Gay? Whay are the parnets called "big"? Not just Daddy and Momma?

Loved the film. I understand Tenessee Williams did not.

Sorry

2008-04-22T11:27:00.001Z

...if I worried anyone. I have tried not to spend much time online as it seems to be taking over my life. when I have been online, I have been playing Scrabulous. I wasn't attention seeking or stropping. Really really sorry xxxx

Scrabulous

2008-04-10T09:37:00.001Z

I have found my addiction in life. Scrabulous.

Daddy, my daddy!

2008-04-06T12:28:00.002Z

Watched The Railway Children again this morning for the squillionth time. Anyone who doesn't cry when the father appears through the smoke at the end is bloody hard.

Lizzy has 5 parties over the next two weeks. A far better social life than me. One of them is a fancy dress party. I would love to be one of those mothers who can whip up an original costume out of sticky back plastic and egg boxes, however, I bottled it. Went to Asda and bought a Belle costume instead. She's happy, I don't have to get the sewing machine out, and with my discount it only cost me £10.80. Everyone's a winner.

We are having Mexican wraps for dinner and then Diz has her first rehearsal in a fashion show that she's doing for a Cancer Charity. Loads of showing off and posing in mirrors. Right up her street.

No-one pushes Billy Hunt around

2008-04-04T11:11:00.003Z

Haven't heard anything regarding the interview I attended. They wanted a helluva lot of work and hours for not a lot of money.
Am currently watching the Our Mutual Friend mini series on TCM
Went and had lunch this week in a very posh place in Bath
School holidays start today. What will I do with my very attention seeking daughter for two whole weeks?
Have started my new college course. Am doing databases which in my tragic little way am thoroughly enjoying.
Rest of my day involves cleaning and laundry. Extremely dull.
If I don't start walking some places instead of driving everywhere, I will become the size of Fatty Arbuckle.
My daughter has size 11 feet. Which is only 5 sizes lower than me. That's a worry.

I told you I was trouble.

2008-04-01T15:13:00.002Z

I have been working on a till this week at the Asda Mecca. We are, as a company, gradually removing free carrier bags. On the whole, people have been sensible and agreed it is a good thing. However, these are also some of the comments I got....

"What am I going to pick up my dog poo with?!" (nappy sacks?)
"What am I going to use as a bin liner?" (bin liners?!?)
"I don't believe in global warming" (and your point is.....?)
"Absolute poppycock, I am going to shop at Tescos in future" (I bet they'll be pleased)
"So are the prices going to go down, seeing as you aren't giving me free bags anymore" (wanker)
"We are getting more like France every day, it's a bloody disgrace" (Absolutely no comment)

We know major tom's a junkie...

2008-03-30T15:23:00.002Z

I am gutted that the last Episode of Ashes to Ashes and been and passed. I sobbed, my heart stopped and I swooned over Phillip Glennister. I can't remember ever enjoying anything as much as Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes.

Reasons to be cheerful...Part 3

2008-03-28T12:25:00.003Z

Today I am thankful for...

Seeing UB40 live, before Ali "Voice of heaven"Campbell departed

Still having one last episode of Ashes to Ashes to watch on Saturday night

My V+ box having Kaiser Cheifs "I predict a riot" with the better video on it

TCM and Film 4 being free

Caller display on my phone

Stew mending my shower

Being born after the washing machine was invented

Marks and Spencers doing free delivery when you spend over £30

Madness singing Embarrasment

The Boys are Back in Town

2008-03-27T11:41:00.002Z

I have finally managed to blag myself an interview. No idea if I can wangle myself the job, but I really want it. The job is at a school for autistic children. I will post any progress. I shan't count my chickens.

Have been to Salsacize today, never been before...a bit like aerobics but with a Latin American twist. I really enjoyed it.

Last night went to a Gala Bingo for the first time. Two of my friends had never been either, and luckily we agreed to split any winnings. One of us (not me!) won and so we came home with £30 each. Tonight is my Walmart greeters night. I might try and count how many obese people with leggings and a Lonsdale hoodie walk past me in my 4 hours on the door.

Academic inspiration...you gave me none

2008-03-24T07:12:00.002Z

I am working today. Bank Holiday Monday in my mind numbing job as an Asda Walmart greeter. It is, however, the best spot in the world for people watching. and trust me, however fat you think you are, there are people out there twice the size. and without a fashion sense in the world.

Saturday's kids play on one arm bandits

2008-03-20T22:36:00.003Z

Sorted out the office
Still can't park a car
Watched the fabulous 1962 film, To Kill a Mockingbird.
Have just started watching Fanny by Gaslight
Lizzy has the Chicken Pox for Easter
Stew got a scratched cornea at work
I only have three days until I can eat chocolate again - so I will be making a chocolate & orange cheesecake for Easter Sunday
Applied for two jobs and haven't even had a reply. Bastards.
Kate Nash's Merry Happy song is the most annoying catchy song ever
Why is it when your friends that are a couple split up, you end up losing them both? AND get stuck in the middle to boot
Stew's doing the London 10k race if anyone wants to sponsor him for Positive Action on Cancer
Happy Easter everyone

Labelled with Love

2008-03-18T07:08:00.004Z

My mum and stepdad have bought a boat and is going to name it after my daughter. How cool is that!??! The boat is 10 years old and comes with a mooring only 5 minutes from their house. They can't decide on whether to call her Dizzy Rose, Elizabeth Rose, Lizzy Rose or just Dizzy, Lizzy or Elizabeth.

I am spending the whole day today sorting out the spare room. It is allegedly the study, but is full of books, junk, paperwork and old toys. I would take before and after photos, but am too ashamed.

I'm determined to throw out old books, but I always have this longing to cling to them.

Liza Radley, see her jump through loneliness...

2008-03-15T18:46:00.002Z

Have you ever been really disappointed in a film? I was really looking forward to the 1983 film, Local Hero and thought it very unremarkable. It's only saving grace was the wonder Mark Knopfler soundtrack.

And a British Rail poster read "Have an Away Day"

2008-03-14T06:18:00.002Z

I have been watching my classic and good quality films, as I promised myself I would now that we have a V+ box. I thouroughly enjoyed The Englishman who went up a Hill and Down a Mountain. Thought Vera Drake was hard work. Adored the Big Sleep (Don't know why Humprey Bogart was gorgeous, but he was) and after I watched Angelas Ashes, I couldn't think about anything else for days. Wish I had read the book now.

I love TCM. They also run old mini series, and one of the current ones is Martin Chuzzlewit. Which is my particualr favourite Dickens book.

Because dreams are made of this

2008-03-12T20:20:00.001Z

I have a spot. A huge, teenage like spot on my chin. How can I have a teenage spot when I am middle aged with wrinkles? Seems highly unfair to me.

Try wearing a cap

2008-03-11T07:33:00.003Z

My new car, and my neighbours lost fence.

What are you reading?

2008-03-02T20:46:00.003Z

I am reading The Clerkenwell Tales by Peter Ackroyd. It is set in the 1300s and it loosely based on the Canterbury Tales. I adore Peter Ackroyd. London the Biography by Peter is my very favourite non-fiction book.

Sips another rum and coke...

2008-03-01T11:54:00.002Z

Me and Stew have had a huge row. It is only the third in 11 years, but I have been blubbing for 24 hours. Men are very thoughtless sometimes. I am attempting not to sulk, as I abhor sulking. However, I am so mad with him, I am struggling to speak.

Robbing the graves of bodies dismembered...

2008-02-28T07:21:00.002Z

If I eat chocolate during Lent after giving it up, will I go to hell?

Today I...

2008-02-25T18:50:00.001Z

...passed my driving test.

Kids say the best things...

2008-02-23T16:30:00.001Z

Whilst swimming this week, Elizabeth made the extremely loud proclamation that.....

"Mummy, it's funny when you look underwater in goggles isn't it, 'cos you can see everyones willies".

Great TV

2008-02-20T20:52:00.004Z

..I have been watching the Mayor of Casterbridge. The 1978 version with the fabulous SirAlan Bates. much easier than reading a Thomas Hardy book. They have been showing it on TCM over the last few weeks. Also, have got hooked on Dr Who. No idea why I haven't watched any before. David Tennant rocks.

My best Christmas Present ever. For Emma.

2008-02-19T07:13:00.002Z

The Dubreq Stylophone is a miniature electronic musical instrument invented in 1967 by Brian Jarvis. It consists of a metal keyboard played by touching it with a stylus - each note being connected to a cheap voltage-controlled oscillator via a different-value resistor - thus closing a circuit. Some three million Stylophones were sold, mostly as children's toys. Rolf Harris appeared for several years as the Stylophone's advertising spokesman in the United Kingdom.

The Stylophone appears on a few commercial recordings, most notably David Bowie's "Space Oddity" and "Slip Away" and the commercial rave single "Stylophonia" by Two Little Boys in 1991. Kraftwerk used the Stylophone on the track "Pocket Calculator" from their album Computer World. The British duo Erasure also employed it on the single "Don't Say Your Love Is Killing Me" (from the album Cowboy in 1997) as well as on their 2000 album "Loveboat". In a lesser-known instance, the Stylophone is used for the bulk of Orbital's single, "Style". Marilyn Manson made use of it for "You and Me and the Devil Makes 3". They Might Be Giants played the Stylophone in several of their songs, including a number on their 2007 album, The Else. Jon Spencer has used the Stylophone extensively on recordings with his band Blues Explosion, and has famously had problems bringing the device — described as "the world's most annoying musical instrument" — through airport security. The more versatile S30s version of the instrument was used by UK experimentalists Camberwell Now, and appeared on their album All's Well. The 350s dual-stylus version was also extensively used as a lead instrument by British band Pulp from 1992 to 1994. Its glacial tones are particularly evident on their breakthrough album His 'n' Hers (most notably the songs "Happy Endings" and "Pink Glove") whilst the 1993 album, Intro, features a track called "Styloroc (Nights of Surburbia)" which revolves around a riff played on the first model.

In October 2007 toy company Re:creation, in conjunction with Dubreq Ltd (re-formed in 2003 by the son of the original inventor), re-launched the Stylophone. The new model has a volume control and accepts an MP3 input, as well as sporting two new sounds.

In the Doctor Who audio drama Horror of Glam Rock, a glam rocker in 1974 is contacted by aliens through his stylophone, and playing a certain tune on the instrument summons the aliens to Earth. The play includes an original song (composed by Tim Sutton and performed by Stephen Gately and Clare Buckfield) which heavily features the Stylophone.

Campaign to bring back...

2008-02-16T15:07:00.001Z

TAB!

The very best moments....

2008-02-09T06:27:00.000Z

My very best bits (so far) from The Office - An American Workplace.

Jim walking into Dwights hotel room, and thinking he had hired a hooker.
Jim not being able to speak, due to the coke jinx and Pam telling Micheal that Jim wanted to talk about a relative who had drug problems.
Pam speaking into the intercom in the supermarket.
Dwight interviewing Kevin about the cannabis
Dwight putting orange cones around the joint in the car park.
Dwight and Jims "allience".
Michael saying that the handbag vendor was like the new improved Pam.
Dwight buying a manbag.
Michael slapping Ryan on the bum at the Dundies awards.
Dwight asking Toby where the clitoris is.
Michael asking Pam to make out with the blow up doll.
Pam telling everyone her mothers coming and Kevin saying “milf.

Points and Questions...

What the hell does Angela see in Dwight?
I would do BJ Novak for definite.
The Jim/Pam relationship is far more believable than the Tim/Dawn English version, and Jim is a lot more gorgeous than Tim.
I can only watch The Office if it is recorded, because I have to fast forward Michael as he is so cringeworthy.
What did Pam write about Michael on the bathroom wall?

Lent

2008-02-05T14:00:00.000Z

I have just watched the Timewatch documentry on Princess Noor Inayat Khan. And so in honour of her, for Lent, I shall be giving up chocolate and complaining.

...meet me at the fair....

2008-01-31T10:34:00.000Z

Have been keeping up with my old and classic fims. Am currently watching "To Catch a Thief" and yesterday, watched the highly enjoyable "Meet me in St Louis". Love any film with Margaret O'Brien. Before that I saw a Picture of Dorian Gray. Which was not a lot like the book, I thought. Have recorded Bus Stop, so that will be next.

5 - 6 - 7 - 8

2008-01-30T06:50:00.000Z

Yesterday I went to Step Aerobics for the first time. Now, I am hooked. I have to find meself a Reebok step and some dvd's to do it at home.

...but you can't push Willy round, Willy won't go.

2008-01-28T10:23:00.000Z

Today I have planned...

Gardening. In my tragic little life, I am quite excited about the fact that I have new seceteurs.
Walking tonight. After my weekend of binge eating, I had better go back to my attempted healthy lifestyle.
Watch all the things I recorded last night (Kingdom, Lark Rise to Candleford, The American Office)
Laundry
Cooking a roast dinner (see the healthy lifestyle doesn't even last a day)

Jumping on the Bandwagon

2008-01-24T14:07:00.000Z

"fucking cats thers four blogs now witrh just fucking cat pics"

...was sent to my email address by the very lovely but gutter mouthed mrs meme weasley.

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jo-leeeeeene

2008-01-22T22:33:00.000Z

My favourite Dolly quotes...

I'm not offended by dumb blonde jokes because I know that I'm not dumb...I also know I'm not blonde.

I describe my look as a blend of mother goose, cinderella, and the local hooker.

I have little feet because nothing grows in the shade.

After Momma gave birth to twelve of us kids, we put her up on a pedestal. It was mostly to keep Daddy away from her.

If I see something saggin', baggin' or dragin', I'm gonna have it nipped, tucked or sucked.

If there's a heaven, I hope to hell I go!

I always love working with children. I never had children of my own. God has his purposes. God didn't let me have children so everybody's children could be mine. That's kind of how I'm looking at it.

It's when you treat people like freaks that you become one yourself.

Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep

2008-01-19T17:53:00.000Z

So far, this weekend, I have...

Made chocolate cake
Made chocolate and raisin cookies
Been swimming
Done a weeks shopping spending the ridiculous amount of £93
Watched another Life on Mars episode ( I am dreading the day I have seen them all)
Watched the goals come in on Sky Sports News
Broken my new touchlamp that I got in British Home Stores
Put a Stereoviewer up for sale on eBay
Ordered a takeaway pizza for 7.30 this evening to be delivered

A lot of my life seems to revolve around food.

Handbags and Gladrags

2008-01-17T09:32:00.000Z

Paramount are running the American version of the Office. It started from episode one....and what I need to know is....what was spilled on Michaels carpet exactly? And also, Hooters...I thought that was a made up place. Why would anyone want to go and eat there? Gross.

Sailors, fighting in the dance hall

2008-01-11T12:07:00.000Z

I seem to be turning into a couch potato. (Or potatoe, as Dan Quayle would say). We have had Virgin media fitted and it comes with TV choice on demand. Meaning you can watch complete old series. I have watched Gillian McKeith bullying people into eating mung beans and now I am totally hooked on the Life on Mars series with John Simm and the very shaggable Phillip Glennister.

It makes me feel quite strange when I watch it, being set in 1973. I was 7 then (Younger than Mrs Weasley, obviously) and I loved the things they have in the series. Those looping cassette players that went in the cars. Party Seven. Men with beards on Open University. People smoking in hospital wards, hair that had obviously been set with hair gel and rollers the night before.... and the Trades Test Transmission girl. Those long floor ashtrays on stalks. Grants whisky. Little bottles of Babycham. Whizzer and Chips comics. Smitty perfume. And I especially adored the way Annie said that she likes to stay in on a Saturday night to make tapes.

I realise things weren't perfect in 1973. But they were a lot more perfect than they are now.

When I was younger, so much younger than today...

2008-01-09T20:43:00.000Z

We made Lizzy a cd for Christmas. It was probably her favourite present, as it contains songs like Barbie Girl, Who let the Dogs out, The Fast Food Song, and Is this the way to Amarillo. It is going to give me, however, a nervous breakdown.
I am already stuck on my Zelda Phantom Hourglass game...and I'm on the first hurdle.
I am also stuck on spreadsheets on my college course.
We had Virgin fitted today, with a V+ box, so I can now record programmes on BBC4 when Stew is watching crappy Setanta Sports.
I am feeling incredibly old.
Half time and Spurs are beating Arsenal 1-0. You never know, miracles could happen.

It's behind you!

2008-01-05T17:49:00.000Z

I took Dizzy to the Pantomime. I bloody hate pantomimes....whoever finds men dressing up as women funny makes me concerned for their sense of humour. There was the usual "Oh no I'm not!" lines and the "It's behind you!" line. I was pleased to see our local little theatre hadn't gone health and safety mad and banned the throwing out of sweets and chocolate, however.

Also, last week, I watched Hot Fuzz and found it highly enjoyable.

...and have just watched Night at the Museum. Ricky Gervais is a god.

It was a bizzarre Christmas...

2008-01-02T16:58:00.000Z

In fact, horrid really. I have had the most horrific flu/cold that I went down with on Christmas Day, and it is still going strong.
Lizzys godfather hit his car, badly.
A very good friend of ours cousin died Christmas Day.
Stews mum is not coping with her spring bereavement very well right now.
Normally I have my decs down by the day after Boxing Day, but this year, I have no energy, so they are still up.
It is the first Christmas ever, that I've lost weight.
It was really strange not seeing my mum in between Christmas and New Year.

Facebook

2007-12-29T06:13:00.000Z

I have joined Facebook. No idea why, really, just that everyone else seems to be doing it, and I must be a sheep.

I have, however joined two excellent groups...

1) Campaign to make James Blunt cockney rhyming slang

and

2) On behalf of England, I hereby apologise for Lily Allen.

Let me know if you are on there, I would love to add you as a friend as I am a Billy No Mates.

Splutters

2007-12-27T09:08:00.000Z

I was going to brave the sales today...but we all have lurgies. Coughs, colds and high temperatures. And I think know who we caught it from, so I shall be paying her back after I have thought of a suitable revenge.

Best Christmas Songs?

2007-12-23T09:21:00.000Z

Fairytale of New York...is probably the best Christmas song in the world ever. I miss Kirsty...she rocked.

And God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen the best Christmas Carol. Reminds me of Dickens. Who definitely rocked.

...and down the Mountainside

2007-12-20T06:24:00.000Z

We went to Ireland for the weekend. First time we ever took Lizzy on a plane...she loved it. Wanted to jump out and bounce on the clouds. It was for a family members 21st birthday - and a great time was had by all. Although the monster in law insisted she had a 24 hour bug, I think it was probably the copious amounts of cider upsetting her tummy.

We nearly didn't go, spent two and a half hours looking for passports, and by the end I was almost sobbing hysterically.

My diet has gone completely by the wayside. I have been out for a ridiculous amount of meals and am out for a drinking session on Saturday night. So the diet will have to be (for the millionth year running) the New Years Resolution.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Kevin Bloody Wilson Rocks.

2007-12-19T06:18:00.000Z

YouTube - Kevin Bloody Wilson Hey Santa Claus

...is my two front teeth

2007-12-11T09:44:00.000Z

Dear Father Christmas.

I don't want much this year. However, I have been a good girl and so deserve decent presents.

What I would like is

One of those over the door Christmas card holders that are out of stock everywhere
A tummy tuck
Face lift and/or chemical peel
Some nice time off with my family
a box of brandy liqueurs
Phish Food ice cream
My mum home for Christmas
A whole new wardrobe that doesn't need ironing
Zelda for the Nintendo DS
A new job

Thanks F.C.

Jackie
xxx

New Room at the Inn

2007-12-06T09:05:00.000Z

Billy, don't be a hero...

2007-12-02T06:13:00.000Z

I am not dead, but my modem is dying.

Of Lions, Witches and Wardrobes.

2007-11-20T23:06:00.000Z

I love this book dedication....

TO LUCY BARFIELD
My Dear Lucy,
I wrote this story for you, but when I began it I had not realised that girls grow quicker than books. As a result you are already too old for fairy tales, and by the time it is printed and bound you will be older still. But some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. You can then take it down from some upper shelf, dust it, and tell me what you think about it. I shall probably be too old to understand a word you say, but I shall still be
your affectionate Godfather,
CS LEWIS

How fabulous to have a book dedicated to you.

Strawberry Fields Forever

2007-11-16T06:00:00.001Z

Things going on...

Had Lizzy's first parents evening, and she isn't letting me down.
Had my first exam and got 95%. Feel like a teenager again :oD
Bought a Christmas present, so that's it, I've finally started.
Children in Need night tonight, so that'll be another night of watching Terry's syrup swarthing around.
Taking Lizzy for a jab this morning. I haven't told her where we are going yet. I might just tell her "It's a surprise!"
Bought the new Harry Potter DVD but haven't had chance to sit and watch it yet.
Saw "The Devil Wears Prada" - thought it was fair.
Went out to lunch and stuffed myself with pizza and salad.
Have been closely following a local story where residents are kicking up about Jane Seymour being a loud and noisy neighbour. Apparently, they preferred Robbie Williams, who was quieter and more sensitive to the local population!
Have taped last nights Never Mind the Buzzcocks and am so glad the funniest programme on TV is back on

The English Patient

2007-11-11T10:22:00.000Z

Yesterday, I watched the English Patient, and sobbed for hours.

Dizzy Miss Lizzy

2007-11-07T13:19:00.000Z

I am sat in the library waiting for my tutor to come back from lunch. She is supposed to be teaching me, not munching on a Tuna and Sweetcorn sandwich. Anyway, whilst here, I have been looking through the classical Cd's and am going to borrow a Wagner one. I might have to change allegiance from Mozart. Inspector Morse would have been horrified.

Lizzy met the new baby for the first time last night. I think she quite liked him, even after her first revulsion at him being a boy.

Hair of the Dog

2007-11-04T13:28:00.000Z

I am feeling extremely fragile today, as last night I went out and had far too much to drink. I slept with a sick bowl, but didn't have to use it. Why do I do it? It is so rare that I drink, so when I do, I am a useless drinker. I did, however, have a fabulous time! Twelve of us (all girls) went to see a sort of cousin by marriage of mine in a cabaret show. It is quite funnily smutty and they have great singing voices.

Anyway...over to the monster in law for Sunday Roast now. If me stomach will take it.

Fee Fi Fo Fum...

2007-11-02T07:06:00.000Z

My sister-in-law yesterday gave birth to my first nephew. A little baby boy called Curtis James. When I say little baby boy, I mean giant baby. Ten pounds, fourteen and a half ounces. After all the horrible things that have happened to this family this year, we needed a good thing.

First Trick or Treating

2007-11-01T07:10:00.001Z

The scariest look she could manage.

What are you reading?

2007-10-30T06:45:00.000Z

I finished the Georgette Heyer and have started reading a book I got out the library called A Spectacle of Corruption by David Liss. I read the prequel to this book and loved it. It won some award which normally puts me off. It is about a Jewish ex boxer who is a thief taker in eighteenth century London. A bit of a Dog Bounty Hunter for the 1700's

Does anyone know of a book site where you can find similar book reviews? I can't explain it very well, but I would like to go to a site where they say "Oh, if you liked The Jane Austen Book Club, then you will also like these books."

Half an ounce...

2007-10-28T22:03:00.001Z

...of Old Holborn and a packet of Liquorice papers please.

It's six years this week since I gave up smoking and I could still easily revert.

Aohell

2007-10-24T18:05:00.000Z

I downloaded Firefox and am now able to post. However, I am thinking of getting a Virgin package and getting rid of aohell anyway.

Events of the week.

Went to Weston Super Mud yesterday and did all the obligatory cold day at the sesaside kinda things.
Managed to squeeze into a size 12 pair of jeans from Next.
Stew got sent off at football on Saturday which is very annoying considering it is a £40 fine for a straight red card.
Went up to Westbury White Horse today and Lizzy sat on the horses ear. Then we flew a kite and played football.

Events expected this week are that...
Stews only sister is expecting her first baby and it is already one day overdue.
I thought I might take Lizzy to see Ratatouille tomorrow as she has never been to the pictures before.

Schell...I finished The Other Boleyn Girl. I quite enjoyed it, even though it was historically incorrect. Did you like it?I understand it is to be made into a film with Scarlett Johanssen.

I have started a new book. It is a Gorgette Heyer. Anything good enough for Stephen Fry is good enough for me.

Smells like Teen Spirit

2007-10-16T05:42:00.000Z

At work this week, we had a large perfume and aftershave delivery. The closer to Christmas we get, the more the scents come in. I was putting them all out on display and realised we had a few new ones in stock, as well as some older ones that I thought we wouldn't be seeing again. How horrific are they?

If you wanna smell like you stay in every Saturday night and watch crappy TV - XFactor... Got what it takes?
For that "Completely lost your marbles" aroma - M by Mariah Carey
For the girl who pines to be a racist - Jade Goody - Shhhh!
Would like to be the Queen of Chavs? - Colleen
Want a gert fat butt? - JLo Glow
And ultimately, to smell like a girl whose kids are in care - Britney Spears - Curious.

I'll stick to my faithful Nina Ricci, and not aspire to be a somebody.

Benjamin Franklin...a secret Brit?

2007-10-13T20:12:00.000Z

"Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Benjamin Franklin

What a very cool bloke. And one of my favourite quotes. My other favourite quote, by, of course, Dickens is...

"Fan the sinking flame of hilarity with friendship and pass the rosy wine"

And both of them involve alcohol. Double points bonus.

What would you do...?

2007-10-08T11:31:00.000Z

My father was adopted when he was two years old. He, and most of his adoptive family are dead, he has one living sister (not blood sister, lovely lady). I have recently found out the name of his real mother. She was born in 1917, so unlikely to be alive. But might well have some descendants or other relatives that are. Would you delve further or leave well alone?

I bloody well hate...

2007-10-03T20:09:00.000Z

Moustaches. On men and/or women.
Waiters/Waitresses who say "Enjoy!" when putting your food in front of you.
Children sucking their thumbs.
Women who breastfeed four year olds in public.
Men with ponytails..long hair is acceptable...it's when you tie it up it makes you look like a loser.
People whining because they are tired (There are children dying all over the world, wars, famine and catastrophes...so shut the fuck up moaning).

Anyone sugesting I might be a tad menopausal will be hung, drawn and quarted at dawn.

Little House...

2007-09-29T11:55:00.000Z

Once, at when my daughter was at nursery and two years old, one of the ladies there said to me "She doesn't share very well, does she?" I replied "No, I'm modelling her on Nellie Olsen"

Which leads me to the question, if you were a film or tv character, who would you be? I myself, like to think I am a copy of Ouiser Boudreaux from Steel Magnolias :o)

Spooked

2007-09-26T08:44:00.000Z

I am the most unbelieving person I know when it comes to ghosts, spirits and psychic abilities. However (You knew there was going to be a however, didn't you?!) Some friends recently went to a psychic night, where a guy correctly talked about a van crash. He got names, places and the whole incident correct. Even down to a poem the victims daughter had written. It spooked me completely (The victim was my ex brother in law, and my ex husband was driving). What do you think? Is there trickery to this...or is it real? I had my palm read once, it it was a total travesty!

Jackie
xxx

p.s. Anyone who watched Doc Martin this week will have noted that Louisa was wearing my lovely Laura Ashley fish print skirt that Mrs Weasley was so mean about. I always knew I had good taste.

The McCanns

2007-09-20T15:44:00.001Z

I don't like jumping on the bandwagon. However, Madeline is almost to the day the same age as Lizzy. And I have followed this case like I have never followed a news story before. I turn the TV on all the time to see any updates.

1) Even if you were a total nonbeliever in God, would you be able to sit in front of the Pope and ask for his prayers if you had killed your own child? Purposely or accidentally?

2) How would you manage to stay so calm and well dressed and made up if your child was missing?

3) If one parent had killed her, then both had.

4) When I was a child and we used to go to Pontins on holiday, we were left alone in chalets. In the "ballroom" they would be a flashing light saying things like "Child crying in Chalet 29". Perhaps it is different in this day and age. But none of us are perfect parents.

5) I almost hope that the McCanns did kill her. Because if they did, it sounds as if it was accidentally. Which means she died in her sleep. And the alternatives don't bear thinking about.

6) If they didn't kill their daughter, then we are treating these victims of a terrible crime, appallingly.

7) On what evidence do we have to take the twins away?

8) When we are on holiday, we get Lizzy to sleep for an hour in the late afternoon so that she can stay up later. We can then all go out together.

Evil Woman who should be Destroyed

2007-09-16T12:31:00.000Z

WEASLEMUM [13:16]: I am getting a tattoo I take bacxk everything I said to you Clank Napper [13:25]: that's disgusting. I spent ages deliberating and threw the design stew made me especially away. I hope it goes manky and your foot drops off.WEASLEMUM [13:27]: I am only getting a little neWEASLEMUM [13:27]: wanna see it Clank Napper [13:27]: mine was only small. I didnt get one. cos you told me not to.WEASLEMUM [13:27]: well you shouldn;t they are vileClank Napper [13:27]: yes. i shall be mean about it.WEASLEMUM [13:28]: down the side of my footWEASLEMUM [13:28]: I am getting it don in a fornight at mennas houseClank Napper [13:29]: that is where i was getting mine done! horrible woman.WEASLEMUM [13:29]: lolClank Napper [13:29]: i am blogging this conversation.

Yellow Submarine

2007-09-13T10:46:00.000Z

I have enrolled in a college course and have already started. It's a sort of word processing, clait, spreadsheet type of course. I can do a lot of it already, but need qualifications in it if I want to get a better job. Which I desperately do. I don't hate my job at Asda, but I now need to get back to a real job. I do not want to go back to my previous career, I fancy a little office/admin kinda job in a little office/admin kinda place! So Schell, to answer your previous question, sadly no. Not a lot of time for reading just now! But I am about a quarter of the way through The Other Boleyn Girl and love it. I usually like to read 18th/19th century novels, but I love the way Ms Gregory writes.

First Day

2007-09-10T20:27:00.000Z

First day went well. She didn't cry at all, just marched straight in and wouldn't let me help her hang her coat or anything motherly. I only welled up a bit. I have a big concern that there are 7 girls in the class and 18 boys....but there isn't a lot I can do about it. I solemnly swear this will be last Lizzy post in eons.

Food for Thought

2007-09-10T05:33:00.000Z

Went to see UB40 last night at Bowood (Which is a stately home, and a gorgeous setting) . It was fab but freezing. They are truly wonderful. And yes, I did cry when they played Kingston Town. I think I might have another crying day in store today :o)

School

2007-09-07T06:07:00.000Z

I have been busy all week as it is Lizzys last week home before she starts school...so I have been trying to do something nice with her the whole time. I am gutted she is going, I like her home with me. But she is very ready to go, bored at home and needs more company of children her own age. I too am off to do a college course, so it is hopefully onwards and upwards for us both. The hours she will be doing for the first six weeks are unpredictable, random and extremely annoying. I have no idea how mothers that work in the day cope with child care during the first half of the term.

Anyway, come next Monday, I will be sobbing all the way home from dropping her off for the first time. She won't. I haven't forgotten her first day at nursery when she wouldn't even say goodbye to me, she just went straight in and started playing.

Dizzy's a stroppy madam. I wish her teacher all the Best of British luck.

I am reading...

2007-09-02T14:06:00.000Z

The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory. At least, I bought it at a boot sale today for 20p, so I will be starting it shortly. Anyone read it? What are you reading?

Never trust a woman who...

2007-08-29T08:38:00.000Z

Doesn't wear lipstick
Doesn't carry a handbag
Wears a shell suit
Has an adams apple
Calls everyone sweetie

Oh no, wait, I do the last one. Scrub that.

Red White and Bl....Beige

2007-08-23T13:11:00.000Z

Ok. Here is the thing. We have brought the corner sofa back from Ikea and we have bought 2 sets of white washable covers for it. It is still in wrapping in my garage. However, I am having big second thoughts as friends tell me that we won't be able to read a newspaper near it, wear hairspray/mouse/gel anywhere near it and that dye will come off peoples clothes onto it. I am expecting you to decide...Here are your options.

Please note, our walls are magnolia and the carpet is a dark oatmeal.

White? Are you totally barking?!

2007-08-20T20:30:00.000Z

I was sat here waiting for Stew to come back from Ikea with my new white corner sofas, (Yes, the marbles finally went, I am getting white sofas with a four year old) when I flicked the channels and found North by Northwest on TCM. It's not even on my list! How did you miss that one! It is, as Mrs Weasley would say, Tres Bon!

Frankly my dear...

2007-08-15T11:42:00.001Z

For the first time ever I have just finished watching Gone with the Wind. I picked up the video at a boot sale for 30p. I've no idea why I haven't seen it before. How fabulous. What a wonderous film. I cried all the way through, and now am going to make it my mission to watch more classic films. Non violent, of course. Suggestions please!

To the male population - apologies

2007-08-12T06:22:00.000Z

Never trust a man who

1) Sings higher than me (those pesky BeeGees spring to mind)
2) Looks in a mirror more than me (I had this thought after reading the bookshelf)
3) Wear flipflops (Quite frankly, your feet are pig ugly and I do not want to see them)

Any more I should be adding? And to even it up, I will do a "Never trust a woman" blog at a later date.

Too Catchy

2007-08-10T19:25:00.001Z

I have been singing this song for days. I even sing it in my sleep. I haven't had a song through my head as much as this since I heard Rehab for the first time.

YouTube - My Chemical Romance - Teenagers