I don't watch much tv. Classic line from a housewife. but honestly, I don't. However, when I am doing washing, laundry, housework etc, I like to have a programme on in the background as opposed to music. Why do TV schedulers think all housewifes are stupid? We are not dumb, we are clever people who have taken career breaks to look after out children. I do not want my intelligence insulted, by having to listen to "Homes under the Hammer" whilst dusting. I don't want to have watch Lorne Spicer with her disgusting blue eyeshadow at a Car boot sale whilst ironing. And I most definitely do not want to see Dick Van Dyke in yet another medical moment when I am scrubbing the loos. (Although when I was 12, I was most determined I would be in the USA by now, married to Scott Baio)
So here's the thing. Now that I am in charge of TV scheduling, here is what is on for the next 24 hours for the foreseeable future.
Midsummer Murders
Poirot (with David Suchet, nobody else even comes close)
Miss Marple (with Joan Hickson, see above)
Darling Buds of May (Before Catherine Zeta Jones ego was as big as Jo Brands backside)
Scrubs
Sex and the City
Will and Grace (only for the Karen Walker Quotes)
Anything with Simon Schama or David Starkey (The Best Historians in the World)
Black and White films with no drugs, swearing or violence
The Simpsons
Peter Kay Live
Inspector Morse and Lewis
Pride and Prejudice (with Colin Firth)
The Office (English and American version)
Deal or No Deal
What not to Wear (With Trinny and Susannah)
What you will never see on TV again...
Lorne Spicer
Beat the Bailiff
What not to Wear (With anyone except Trinny and Susannah)
Cash in the Attic
Pride and Prejudice (with Kiera Knightly)
Escape to the Country or any other buying a home series
Anything with Russell Brand, Jeremy Kyle, George Clooney, Michael York or Susannah York
Loan adverts
Claiming Compensation adverts
Frasier (Tried to find this funny, and can't)
The Jessica Fletcher programme (whatever the hell it is called)
and
Anything that promotes Chav culture, state scroungers and Lonsdale Uniforms.
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6 comments:
deal or no deal dear god let you never het that job
Nial fergusson is the best Historian sionce AJP Taylor you are so easily swayed by good looks
I am a Yes Deal No Deal as Dizzy calls it addict. It is on my mini tv in the kitchen when I am cooking.
I love it when the good guys win.
I was with you all the way until you didn't want George Clooney.
I don't understand how I don't like George Clooney. Why do I not fancy this guy....everyone else does. Am I some sort of freak woman?!??
SEx and the City
The Office
creme de la creme!
THE JESSICA FLETCHER PROGRAM IS CALLED MURDER SHE WROTE AND IT'S PRIMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(we have a US version of what not to wear and I like it)
- emma
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